Children Dealing With Trauma

Many parents have the misguided belief that children cannot get traumatized or that they will simply get over it because they are young. As a result, traumatic events are often downplayed and potential problems ignored. By the time the child enters into therapy, the trauma has been allowed to manifest into symptoms that can significantly impact their quality of life. Catching potential trauma early and engaging with professional help as soon as possible is essential to deal with trauma before it follows them into adulthood

What Is Trauma?

What many parents do not realize is that any major change can cause trauma. What may seem inconsequential to an adult can have a significant impact on a child. For example, getting cut from a school sports team or failing to advance to the varsity squad may not seem like a big deal. However, because it affects their self-esteem, it can end up being traumatizing and lead to depression.

Examples of trauma-inducing circumstances include:

• Physical or sexual abuse
• Moving or changing schools
• Parental conflict and fighting
• Shocking or surprising events
• Death in the family
• Peer relationships
• Witnessing or being a part of friend break-ups
• Being bullied
• Receiving a bad grade or grades
• Poor sports performance

Moreover, parents often do not realize that their own drama, actions, and behaviors significantly impact their children. For the first two and a half years of their life, kids observe and absorb everything. By the time they are three, kids can read their parents like a book. Allowing them to witness parental fighting or dysfunction can have a foreseeable negative influence.

The Consequences of Unchecked Trauma

Contrary to what society believes, trauma does not simply go away over time. It needs to be addressed and dealt with.

If ignored, trauma can lead to behavioral problems, including but not limited to:

• Poor social skills
• Inability to make new relationships
• Inability to function in society
• Failing in school or the workforce
• Neglecting community settings
• Anger management issues
• Impulsive behaviors
• Lack of motivation
• Depression

Telling your child that everything will be okay is not enough to sufficiently address their trauma. They need to talk about it with a professional who can help them digest their emotional response and discuss coping strategies. As a childhood trauma expert, I have extensive experience meeting children in their world and helping them deal with traumatic experiences.