Separated Parents

As a family systems therapist, I am a firm believer in a cohesive family unit. Unfortunately, this is not always possible due to irreconcilable differences. Nonetheless, parents must be willing to set aside their resentment for the sake of their children. Understandably, this can be difficult to do without support or guidance. I offer education-based counseling for separated or divorced parents to learn the ins and outs of co-parenting and providing their children with a foundation to thrive off of.

Providing Stability

When their parents separate, a child’s whole world is turned upside-down. This upheaval can bring chaos and uncertainty into their lives, which can manifest into mental health or behavioral issues. Parents need to provide them with some degree of consistency and routine. If you make plans involving them, your child should be informed, and you need to make sure that you stick to those plans whenever possible. Providing them with the steady ground to find their footing will help them achieve stability after the turmoil of separation.

Respect and Cordiality

Many parents, separated or otherwise, do not understand the impact that fighting can have on their children. Small disagreements turned heated arguments can be absolutely traumatizing. Any sign of bitterness or resentment in front of the child is unacceptable. Conversely, one of the best things you can do for your child is allow them to witness the two of you apologizing to one another. They need to recognize that you can be, at the very least, cordial.

Co-Parenting Decisions

It is essential to understand that you are still raising your children together though you may not be in a relationship. The decisions you make regarding their upbringing will undoubtedly have consequences felt by both parties. At one point or another, issues that affect one parent, such as poor grades or getting into trouble in school, will affect the other. Separated parents must be willing to discuss and come to an agreement on how they will handle situations involving their child, including routine structure and guidelines within the home. Show your child that you are unified in your co-parenting decisions.